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It's Hot, You're Tired, But Stay The Course!

by Wendy Gladney on 08/10/20

Summer is just about over and many of us are feeling hot, tired, and wondering what’s next?  Where did summer go?  Fun in the sun, traveling, and enjoying a nice vacation with family and loved ones didn’t happen the way many of us are used to and we are frustrated. We usually look at this time of year as a time to relax and refresh ourselves to prepare for Fall and finishing out the year strong.  The school year will begin soon, and students and parents alike have no idea what that will even look like. Businesses are still contemplating if employees should work remotely from home, and most of us have no idea what this “new normal” is really supposed to look like. But no matter what, I want to encourage all of us to not give up or give in, but let us remain steady and stay the course. 

Someone recently said, “Success does not come in a straight line.”  I know this to be true.  Just when I thought I had finally succeeded at something, a dart was thrown at me and tried to knock me down. It is not so much what happens to us, but rather what we do with what happens to us.  We cannot let the fallout of COVID-19 hold us back from reaching our goals and destiny.  I know some of us have faced some real tragedies during this time.  We have lost loved ones, some have lost jobs, and some may not even know how long they will have a roof over their heads. No matter what we have experienced this year, we must figure out how to stay positive and stay the course.  If you need help, do not be afraid to let someone know you need a little guidance or encouragement in what direction to take next. 

When we get weary, it is particularly important for us to take good care of ourselves and push our reset buttons.  We need to make sure we get plenty of rest, eat healthy and nutritious foods, and spend some time re-examining our priorities, and if necessary be prepared to set new goals.  We are in ever-revolving new times. If we feel like we have lost control, now is the time for us to take back control our life. We also must be patient and kind to ourselves during this process. Gift Gugu Mona said, “A phenomenal woman is never limited by a phenomenon.  She goes out there and stays the course until she prospers.”  

Situations that have become commonplace because of COVID-19, such as having to stay at home, limited connection with the outside world, and the lack of meaningful human connection can be daunting.  When we put these factors together with some of the other things going on during this time, it is not surprising that some people are experiencing different levels of depression.  This is normal.  Former First Lady, Michelle Obama, recently shared that she has experienced low-grade depression during quarantine.  And we all know this lady has it going on.  I am sure she is hot and tired, but we know she will not give up. None of us are immune to the side effects of this pandemic.

As we close out these last few weeks of summer, the days will eventually become shorter and they will cool off, so stay encouraged and remember this, too, shall pass.  Pause if you must and then get back up, get the help you need and stay the course.  We are all in this together.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is an international coach, consultant, trainer, author and speaker. She can also be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.

It's Hot, You're Tired, But Stay The Course!

by Wendy Gladney on 08/10/20

Summer is just about over and many of us are feeling hot, tired, and wondering what’s next?  Where did summer go?  Fun in the sun, traveling, and enjoying a nice vacation with family and loved ones didn’t happen the way many of us are used to and we are frustrated. We usually look at this time of year as a time to relax and refresh ourselves to prepare for Fall and finishing out the year strong.  The school year will begin soon, and students and parents alike have no idea what that will even look like. Businesses are still contemplating if employees should work remotely from home, and most of us have no idea what this “new normal” is really supposed to look like. But no matter what, I want to encourage all of us to not give up or give in, but let us remain steady and stay the course. 

Someone recently said, “Success does not come in a straight line.”  I know this to be true.  Just when I thought I had finally succeeded at something, a dart was thrown at me and tried to knock me down. It is not so much what happens to us, but rather what we do with what happens to us.  We cannot let the fallout of COVID-19 hold us back from reaching our goals and destiny.  I know some of us have faced some real tragedies during this time.  We have lost loved ones, some have lost jobs, and some may not even know how long they will have a roof over their heads. No matter what we have experienced this year, we must figure out how to stay positive and stay the course.  If you need help, do not be afraid to let someone know you need a little guidance or encouragement in what direction to take next. 

When we get weary, it is particularly important for us to take good care of ourselves and push our reset buttons.  We need to make sure we get plenty of rest, eat healthy and nutritious foods, and spend some time re-examining our priorities, and if necessary be prepared to set new goals.  We are in ever-revolving new times. If we feel like we have lost control, now is the time for us to take back control our life. We also must be patient and kind to ourselves during this process. Gift Gugu Mona said, “A phenomenal woman is never limited by a phenomenon.  She goes out there and stays the course until she prospers.”  

Situations that have become commonplace because of COVID-19, such as having to stay at home, limited connection with the outside world, and the lack of meaningful human connection can be daunting.  When we put these factors together with some of the other things going on during this time, it is not surprising that some people are experiencing different levels of depression.  This is normal.  Former First Lady, Michelle Obama, recently shared that she has experienced low-grade depression during quarantine.  And we all know this lady has it going on.  I am sure she is hot and tired, but we know she will not give up. None of us are immune to the side effects of this pandemic.

As we close out these last few weeks of summer, the days will eventually become shorter and they will cool off, so stay encouraged and remember this, too, shall pass.  Pause if you must and then get back up, get the help you need and stay the course.  We are all in this together.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is an international coach, consultant, trainer, author and speaker. She can also be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.

Dreams Really Can Come True - Part 2

by Wendy Gladney on 07/27/20

Throughout the course of my life I have shared a lot about my ups and downs, with the hope that something I share could help someone along their journey.  When you open yourself up in such a public way, you never know how you will be perceived or received.   Last week in my article I shared about my journey of love and how after two decades I was blessed to marry the love of my life.  Due to miles, marriages, and mistakes, becoming Ron’s wife was a dream that I thought would never come true. Especially as life continued to last and death passed, and I was not getting any younger.  In part two of my story I want to encourage everyone to think about a specific dream you may have given up on.  Pick it back up, dust it off and start believing in what is possible. No matter what your age or how much time has passed.

A dream is defined as a series of thoughts, feelings and images occurring in a person’s mind.  A dream is also a cherished aspiration, ambition or ideal.  Oftentimes dreams occur in our subconscious or while we are asleep. The first thing we need to do if we want to see if our dream has the possibility of coming true is to wake up. Then we need to see if what we are dreaming about is achievable and realistic.  I am not referring to whether someone else thinks it is possible. But when you are in your right mind, do you believe it is achievable? There will always be doubters and or haters and sometimes people just cannot see what you can see. Most people who have experienced their dreams coming true have dealt with some level of defeat along the way. But they never gave up.

If we plan to achieve our dreams, it is critical that we turn our dreams into specific goals.  A goal is the object of a person’s ambition or effort. Goals are something that we see in front of us that we hope to achieve in the future.  It is important to have a plan (and when possible a timeframe) and commit to your plan if you have any hope of achieving the goal you hold near and dear to your heart. I want to pause for a second because there are some dreams that can be difficult to put a specific plan and timeframe on. Some things take time to unfold and become a reality. This is when we must be patient and just wait. In my experience when you do not know what to do, just keep living and moving forward until the next step is revealed to you. 

There is a difference between manifesting a dream that is career focused verses people (or relationship) focused. I have been focusing mainly on relationships.  Several years ago, my husband Ron wrote a book called, “The Right Man Business Plan for Women.” In the book he compares personal relationships to business structures.  He discusses the importance of understanding where you are as an individual, in relation to the person you want to be with.  He compares relationships as follows - a Sole Proprietor is a single person who just wants to mingle; in a Partnership you are in some level of a relationship or commitment; an LLC is a couple living together; and a Corporation is a couple who decides to get married.  It is important to understand what you are looking for, so you do not get stuck in the wrong situation. Be clear about your dream or what you want. As you ponder in your mind the dream that has slipped away, think of the magic of “what if.”  What if you gave it just one more chance?  You may experience some bumps along the way, but the destination is worth it!

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is an international coach, consultant, trainer, author and speaker. She can also be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.

Dreams Really Can Come True - Part 1

by Wendy Gladney on 07/20/20

Over two decades ago, I met a man that instantly captured my heart. We were introduced by a mutual friend, who thought he would be able to help me with one of my work projects.  When she introduced us, she said, “Wendy is the female version of Ron and Ron is the male version of Wendy.”  As we continued to work together and got to know each other better we chuckled, because she was right. Over time we developed a friendship that was built on trust, respect, and mutual admiration that has stayed with us over the years.  We knew we genuinely wanted the best life had to offer for each other.  Our friendship has been the foundation that brought us back into each other’s life’s years later.

As life would have it eventually, we both went through divorces and although our paths would cross from time to time, there was always something that got in the way of us taking the relationship beyond friendship. Periodically, we would check in to see how the other was doing and once again the pieces still had a hard time falling into place to take the relationship to another level. Timing was not on our side.  After almost two decades it would be the death of another mutual friend that would bring us together and this time it was the right time for both of us.  We began to talk, spend time together and get to know each other in a new way.  As the relationship developed, we realized what we both still felt the way we did years ago.  The compatibility was still there. Yes, he put a ring on it, and he proposed this past Christmas Eve. He said to me and my family that miles, mistakes, and marriages got in the way and I plan to put an end to that.  

Overall, I feel I have been successful in life.  I am not referring to money, but rather I have learned how to overcome many of the trials and tribulations that have been thrown my way. I have beautiful children and grandchildren. I have been fortunate to live a life of service and my purpose is about helping others and providing hope and encouragement when things seem difficult.  However, when it came to marriage I have struggled, and honestly, I have felt like a failure.  I enjoy being a wife and taking care of a husband and family.  I have given much thought about marriage and understanding the difference between who we think we should marry and who God has in mind for us to marry. I understand that unless God builds the house, we labor in vain. I am grateful that God gave me another opportunity to live out my dream of being the best wife possible and this time with the man I have held in my heart since the first day we met.

Ron and I were married a few weeks ago and while we were relaxing and enjoying our honeymoon, I read the book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  The book focuses primarily on how to set your mind up to attract what you need to be financially successful, however, it also has some good pointers on how to be successful in life. The chapter on “Organized Planning,”  shares, temporary defeat should mean only one thing, the certain knowledge that there is something wrong with your plan…when defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans were not sound, rebuild your plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. I believe God must be in the plan. If we turn everything over to Him dreams can come true.  If you have failed at something that you truly desire, never give up, learn from your mistakes, and set sail again! For more of the story stay tuned next week.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is an international coach, consultant, trainer, author and speaker. She can also be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.

United and Free...Really?

by Wendy Gladney on 06/29/20

As a country, Americans love celebrating the 4th of July. The colors red, white, and blue are posted everywhere as flags are raised high commemorating the Declaration of Independence dating back to 1776. The celebration declared that the original thirteen American colonies were no longer subordinate to the monarch of Britain.  This victory proclaimed them as united and free. Unfortunately, almost 244 years later, people of color are still treated as “subordinate” in America and chasing the dream to become united and free.  The pain of this reality runs deep because America was built on the backs of our ancestors who were brought to this country as slaves and were not seen as human.

This year, both the devastation of COVID-19 and the orders to shelter in place will challenge how Americans will celebrate the 4th of July.  The deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and the long list of many others who have been murdered by law enforcement have caused an uprising by people from all walks of life demanding justice.  What are we doing to create an atmosphere that will make all Americans feel united and free?  What will it take to bring justice? How will future generations look back at this time and judge America for its actions?

The Atlantic Slave Trade began in 1619.  Enslaved Africans were brought across the Atlantic Ocean to the Americas. Last year I had the opportunity to visit Ghana and I walked the grounds of the castle that held our ancestors captive before they boarded the ships across the middle passage. I also had the chance to put my feet in the very water that is called the “Last Bath” where they took their last bath before heading to a foreign land.  To experience this firsthand had an impact on me that will stay with me for the rest of my life. The blood of my paternal ancestors runs just as deep her in America as it does in Africa. They paid the price with their blood, sweat, tears and life.

I am the great-granddaughter of a slave.  I am also the great-granddaughter of an immigrant from Germany.  Both sides of my family came to this county under different circumstances, but nonetheless I am their legacy.  My parents were born in this country and I was born in this country. I am proud to be an American and I believe that America has the potential to live up to its ideals and the time is now.  We believe in democracy where power comes from the people.  We believe in equality of rights and liberty for all.  I want these values to be available to my children, grandchildren, and my future generations.

Like most people, I strive for the American dream.  I desire to achieve success and upward mobility for the security of my family and to help others. But will I be limited because of the color of my skin? This opportunity should be available to everyone no matter what their race, creed, or color. Let us start now and work hard to put the necessary principles in place.  Let us set new standards and let us hold each other accountable so that what is being discussed now will not be just lip service.  So, what does it mean to be an American?  It means a place where we are all united and free.

“We will shape and mold this country, or it will not be molded and shaped at all anymore.” Nina Simone.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is an international coach, consultant, trainer, author and speaker. She can also be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.