Have you ever had a family member or a friend who asks some deep thought-provoking questions and sometimes they are random or out of the clear blue? On occasion, the question may make you remember something, but more times than not it is a question about something you just want to forget. Well, my husband is one of those people who ask exactly both types of questions. He says he asks questions to find answers, to see how I think, and to find what mechanisms I use to make decisions. Sometimes the questions annoy me because they make me think about things that I do not always want to talk about.
Recently my husband and I were sitting in the backyard enjoying a midsummer night evening and it happened, out of nowhere he says, “Wendy what role has fear played in your life?’ I was startled, stunned, and shocked by this dart to the heart question. The reason it affected me was for many years fear played a part in my life and it took years and much prayer to rid myself of this two-sided powerful and primitive human emotion. Because of issues I experienced at a young age I learned how to be afraid, and some of those fears carried over to my adult life. I wrestled with the fears of abandonment, abuse, failure, rejection, letting people down, and financial hardships. My fears caused anxiety, worry, disappointment, and discouragement.
They say we are born with some basic emotions like anger, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, joy, and fear. Most of us have experienced all or most of these emotions at some point in our lives. I am well aware of the fact that fear can keep us away from impending harm or danger. Trust your gut. If your gut (fear) is telling you to beware of doing something, listen to it, it may be the very thing that saves you. I am not talking about that healthy side of fear. I am referencing the unhealthy side of fear which prevents us from trying something new, or starting our own business, or leaving a dead-end job, or ending an unhealthy relationship. I started to defeat my fears when I would read scripture and the Lord would often say to his followers, “Fear not”. I use to tell God how big my fears were, and things changed in a positive way for me when I started to tell my fears how big my God is. Whatever storms of fear I have had my God has calmed them in my mind and heart. I had to learn to surrender every fear that I have experienced or will experience to God. He will fight for me, cover me and protect me. All of us have something that we may fear, but we must remember that most of our fears are false. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. It is important that we do not let things that may not happen control what we do or how we proceed with our daily lives.
What must we do to overcome our fears? First, admit your fears and if it warrants getting professional help, get it. Ignoring your fears or emotions can damage your mental wellbeing. Second, if the fears persist surround yourself with the necessary support system or group. Third, take it one day at a time, and finally, never stop trying and never give up. Remember courage is not the absence of fear, it is the conquest of fear.
Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.