Are You Stewing or Doing?

Have you ever had something important you needed to get done, but instead of doing it, you spent hours, or maybe even days, thinking about it? You thought about how much work it would take. You worried about whether you could finish it on time. You replayed all the things that could go wrong. You talked about it. You made a list about it. I am big when it comes to making lists. You may have even lost sleep over it. I am familiar with all these steps that we often take, but the question becomes did you actually do anything about what needs to be addressed? One thing I have learned is there is a difference between stewing about something and doing what needs to be done. Sometimes when we look back, we do not even recognize how much time we are spending on one instead of the other. Stewing is when we remain mentally busy without making meaningful progress. Doing is when we take intentional action that moves us closer to the desired outcome. I understand the difference because I have caught myself stewing when I should be doing. There is nothing wrong with thinking before we act. In fact, planning, prayer, research, reflection, and preparation are important. I believe in being thoughtful and strategic about the decisions we make. But there comes a point when thinking can become a hiding place. Sometimes we tell ourselves, we are still thinking about it. Or we want to wait until we have everything figured out. Meanwhile, the deadline is getting closer, the opportunity is passing, or the task is becoming more overwhelming because we failed to start. That is when we must ask ourselves: Am I preparing to do this, or am I procrastinating because I am uncomfortable? It is important that we take action to break the cycle of stewing. One of the biggest lessons I have learned through the years is that you do not always have to know how you are going to finish something before you begin it. As I have shared in previous articles, you just need to know your next step. If you have an article to write, open the document and write the first paragraph. If you have a difficult phone call to make, find the number and make the call. If you are trying to start a business, identify the first three things necessary to move your idea forward. If your home or office feels overwhelming, do not tell yourself you have to organize everything today. Start with one drawer, one stack, or one corner. This is a dilemma I am facing at this very moment. I seem to always be in a place of needing to clear out the clutter in my office. The answer is to stop talking about it and be about it. Movement creates momentum. Sometimes the reason we feel stuck is not because we do not know what to do. We are stuck because we are looking at the entire staircase instead of taking the next step. Perfectionism can be one of the greatest contributors to stewing. We want the plan to be perfect. We want the timing to be perfect. We want our presentation, website, proposal, book, business idea, or next move to be perfect before anyone sees it. But perfection can become another form of procrastination. Start giving yourself a deadline within the deadline. Here is something practical I encourage you to try. If you have an important deadline, create smaller deadlines before the final one. Breaking a large assignment into smaller actions makes it feel manageable and gives you an opportunity to celebrate progress along the way.

As The Purpose Partner, I often talk about living with Strategic Grace. To me, Strategic Grace means learning how to move forward with intention without losing your peace in the process. Being proactive does not mean being frantic. Being productive does not mean running yourself into the ground. And getting things done does not mean you have to have everything figured out. The wisdom is knowing when one season has ended and the next one needs to begin. So, the next time you feel stuck, ask yourself, am I stewing or doing? And if you are stewing, make it into a delicious meal by getting started with doing what needs to be accomplished.

Wendy is the Purpose Partner helping women go from Crossroads to Confidence, from Shaken to Unshakable, from Purpose to Power. To learn more visit WendyGladney.com and ForgivingForLiving.org