Being a Father Does Not Make You a Dad

June 15th is Father’s Day. I want to remind us there is a difference between being a father and being a dad. One is a biological role; the other is a sacred responsibility. Siring a child makes you a father. But being present, loving, consistent, and intentional, that is what makes you a dad.

Too many children are growing up today with a father’s name on a birth certificate but no father figure in their everyday lives. Fatherhood is about DNA. But being a daddy, is about daily devotion, consistent care and actions that show love. A dad is there in the good and bad times, not just at birthdays, basketball games or piano recitals. A dad is the one who stays. Who shows up. Who sacrifices. He is the one who teaches you how to ride a bike or hold your head up when life tries to bring you down. He is the one who shows you what respect looks like, by how he treats your mother, how he speaks to you, and how he walks through the world. He is the one who disciplines with love, celebrates your wins like they are his own, and holds your hand when the world turns its back on you. A dad does not just pay bills, he pays attention. He does not just talk tough, he listens soft. He does not just give orders; he gives of himself.

I love hearing my husband talk about his dad. The warmth in his voice, the respect in his eyes, it says everything. His father was not just a parent; he was his rock, his role model, and the reason my husband became the man he is today. Their relationship was built on consistency, trust, and unconditional love. It was a bond that shaped his sense of identity and manhood, and you can still see that legacy in the way he lives and leads today.

My experience was different. My father and I had a turbulent relationship, one marked by silence, absence, and wounds that did not always heal cleanly. There were things I longed to hear: “I’m proud of you.” “I love you.” But those words did not come until I was an adult, and we reconciled. When you do not receive that kind of affirmation from the first and most important male figure as a young girl growing up, it leaves a void, one that echoes long into adulthood. It lingers. It shapes how we love, how we trust, and how we see ourselves. That is why this conversation matters, not just on Father’s Day, but every day. We need our dads.  

Being a dad means showing up, even when it is not convenient, even when it is complicated, even when the relationship with the child’s mother did not last. Being a dad is not a title you earn once; it is a role you live every day. And you do not have to be perfect; you just have to be present. I also want to take a moment to recognize the uncles, brothers, cousins, grandfathers, and close family friends who stepped up when fathers stepped out. The men who filled in the gaps and held down the fort. The men who took on the weight of “dad” when it was not technically their job, but they made it their calling. You are worthy of every bit of praise and gratitude this Father’s Day. Your presence mattered. Your love made a difference.

To the men who are breaking generational cycles, who are becoming the dads they never had, who are learning to love better, lead stronger, and show up fuller, we see you. You are the example. You are the healing. You are the difference. And to every man who knows, deep down, that he has been absent, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually, I have good news: it is not too late. You can still write a new chapter. Make the call. Say the words. Show up. Start small but start. Because in the end, being a father is about biology. But being a dad is about legacy.

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Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is The Purpose Partner, life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.